The "JOB"

I have recently retired as a paramedic/firefighter after 32 years. It took me two attempts in Florida to get clean from alcohol. My drinking began in the fall of 2006 and took me by surprise. I never really drank (alcohol) for most of my life and I'm 48 years of age. April 11, 2007 I found myself in a Florida detox and rehab (T.S.). I was not sure how or why I was there. Actually, I was there for an alcohol addiction, so I thought. It was confirmed that I am an alcoholic. As a result of being there for 9 1/2 weeks, I learned that my job (the job) had some major contributions to my alcoholism. There were many, many days towards the end, when the "job" became too much to handle, several of us would be at a bar at the end of our shift. It was the thing to do. In my situation, the bar, or the bottle, ended up being the only place for solice in my life. Unfortunately, it is still portrayed this way on television. The "job" requires us to be bad and tough, however, we are still human. A really good friend of mine summed it up perfectly; "we are ordinary people doing an extraordinary job". When we first begin this "job", it WAS really cool. As time goes on, it becomes really NOT cool. You get tired or are unable to tolerate seeing this stuff day after day, then years and it eventually affects your life, especially when you sleep. I have been to therapists galore, even the best, AA, and cannot conquer this issue completely. Families think that you spend your whole life in this field and believe you should be "used to it". IT'S NOT THE WAY IT GOES. The blood, guts and gore turn in to nightmares and flashbacks. For me, it has destroyed my life. There's very little awareness about this business (career) and how do you explain this "job" to people? They do not want to hear about the bad stuff and when you respond with the B.S. stuff, people become disinterested.

Awareness has to be key here, but not sure how it should be presented. Even so, I will not give up!


Chuck Drass